Ice Dance
by Lance Robert Weeler
Summary: After the events of Rush, Clark ponders just why he’s so afraid of a certain raven-haired girl. Ficlet.


Title: Ice Dance  
  
Rating: PG-13 for a dirty word.  
  
Spoilers: Takes place after "Rush"  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own the show or any of the characters. If I did, they'd be on HBO, where you know I'd be doing naughty things with them. I don't own the song at the end either. "Superman" belongs to Lazlo Bane.  
  
Summary: After the events of Rush, Clark ponders just why he's so afraid of a certain raven-haired girl.  
  
A/N: Attention all Clanas! Check my author profile to get the link to the coolest C/L site, bar none. since I can't seem to put URL's in the body of my fic.  
  
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I sit at the counter nervously tapping the pen against the hard marble counter-top. The assignment is simple enough but for some reason I can't seem to clear my head. Not some reason. The reason. I should know better than to try to get my homework done here but let's face it. I'm an idiot. After only a few hours of her absence, I longed to see her face once again. Today her hair is clipped back and she's wearing a blue silk blouse that frames her neck perfectly. She's a vision as always. I see her everyday, yet I can't help but sigh as I admire her alluring form for the countless time.  
  
The Talon is buzzing with customers these days, and why not? Coffee junkies have finally figured out it's the best place to get a strong cup of regular joe, a frothy cappuccino, or even a dark rich espresso. Having cute waitresses didn't hurt business either. She does her best to ignore me while she seemingly glides around the tables bringing orders and dishing out smiles to the lucky patrons. I can sense she is tiring as her eyes show just the hint of shadows. Pulling double shifts three nights in a row would do that to anyone. She's been pouring herself into the Talon more and more like her life depends on it.  
  
But knowing her as well as I do, I can tell she's just hiding her feelings, trying to keep her mind off things, off me. She knows that I know. She'll steal glances as at me when I'm not looking but every once in awhile our eyes meet across the room and her hazel orbs turn ice-cold, freezing me out. Disappointment. Hurt. Sadness. They hit me one after another until she finally breaks the trance and looks away. She should feel those things. No matter what the circumstances, I've treated her horribly.  
  
I should have said something to her when she caught me with Chloe, but instead I remained silent. I was tired of lying to her. But I couldn't just give her the truth either. Everyday I daydream about running up to her and confessing everything: my origins, my powers, my actions, and my love for her. She would be afraid, and she'd be mad, but she would understand. That's what scares me most of all. I know deep down she would accept me. She would overlook everything I've done, all the lies, the secrets, and the pain I've caused her.  
  
I've been tempted to tell her on many occasions but this fear holds me back. The invincible Clark Kent is terrified of little Lana Lang. Scared of the consequences of her knowing, being burdened by a secret so great, no one should be forced to keep. People have begun to suspect. I can feel the looks Lex gives me, his gaze a constant attempt to figure me out. His father knows too much; his vault full of meteor rocks attests to that. I grimace, shake my head and close my eyes. Nothing is ever simple. Especially in Smallville.  
  
My train of thought is broken as she stops before me, asking me if I want another cup. I nod and she pours me a refill while trying desperately to avoid my stare. My chest fills with anxiety at her proximity. I can feel the frustration she feels toward me as she finishes her task and asks me if there's anything else she can get for me. I move to speak but my lips fail me. They tremble ever so slightly as I lose my nerve. She smirks and leaves me to my thoughts once again. The coffee is warm, but my hands are cold and numb.  
  
I turn my gaze back on the blank notepad. I quickly jot down my thoughts on paper: 'Dear Lana, I'm an alien from another world. I came in a spaceship with the meteor shower that killed your parents. I have super powers, but red meteor rocks make me an ass and that's why I treated you like shit those two times. Please forgive me. By the way, I loved you since the fourth grade. Do you want to be my girlfriend?' I rip the offending sheet from the rest and quickly crumple it up. If only it were that simple.  
  
I spend the rest of the night writing various confessions, but none of them seem adequate for the task. Before I know it, there are a dozen paper balls on the counter, and I'm the only customer left. She starts to clean off the tables and put the chairs up. I place some money on the table and move to help her but she dismisses me. Again I open my mouth to speak but the words don't come out. I'm frozen. I concede defeat and walk toward the door before I realize all my abandoned confession letters are sitting on the counter. I turn to look at them, but I catch Lana's stare instead.  
  
For once I take a chance and walk out into the cold, preferring it to her icy glare. I turn my head once more back inside only to see her sweeping all my crumpled paper balls into the waste basket and taking it out back to the garbage bin. I sigh and walk along the sidewalk, my hands in my pocket trying to fight off the bitter cold as the snow flakes start to rain down. In the distance I see a couple affectionately wrapped in each others arms, swaying every so slightly, oblivious to passer-bys. "I might save you a dance," I remember she once said to me.  
  
I laugh as I realize I did get that dance. It's what we do - dance, it's all we've ever done. Dancing around each other, never letting our feelings to the surface. Dancing on a frozen lake threatening to break at anytime. One day will we become weary and abandon each other and seek affection elsewhere? Will we stay this way forever frozen in place? Or will the ice crack before we get a chance to finish? I yell out in frustration into the night. I may be the strongest man on the planet, but I have two weakness - both which are capable of bringing me to my knees. It's time to face one of them. I do an about-face and walk to face my destiny. it's been a ball, but it's time for this dance to end.  
You've crossed the finish line  
  
Won the race but lost your mind  
  
Was it worth it after all  
  
I need you here with me  
  
Cuz love is all we need  
  
Just take a hold of the hand that breaks the fall  
Well I know what I've been told  
  
You gotta break free to break the mold  
  
But I can't do this on my own  
  
No I can't do this all on my own  
  
I know that I'm no superman  
I'm no superman  
  
I'm no superman  
  
Someday we'll be together  
  
I'm no superman  
  
Someday  
  
Someday we'll be together  
  
Someday  
  
I'm no superman 


End file.
